Author: Francis Fay

RUNITUP by Tyler the Creator ft. Teezo Touchdown

I’ve reduced my twitter time this week significantly. For me that’s a huge achievement.

I decided to put Instagram on the backburner back in 2020. I’ll go on it every once in a while for Sunday reels to keep up, but it isn’t my go to anymore.

I replaced with twitter cause it wasn’t people I was keeping up with, it was more so just news. (that and just stupid shit that makes my brain turn into scrambled eggs. Not even the good runny scrambled eggs, like scrambled eggs that have no butter and stick to the non-stick pan).

I’ve known this for a while, but it turns out twitter is also a horrible place, but it has a few tweets that keep me coming back for more.

For example, Tyler’s “Call Me If You Get Lost” came out 4 years ago today.

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Tyler’s made his way into this blog, but this album in particular brings back such great memories. I actually hated it at first – on first listen it sounded like DJ Drama just yelling at you about the exotic places they were traveling to. Tyler mentioned it has always been a dream of his make a Gangster Grillz tape, something that was extremely popular back when he was growing up. It’s a cool sort of student becomes the teacher moment where he can tap back into his childhood and create something and pay homage to something that was once so valuable to him.

I was getting ready to go into my last semester of college. I was back in my hometown on one of my last walks with my dog before I headed off to football camp when it started just absolutely pouring rain when this song came on.

I started doing something I absolutely hate doing – running.

It was a happy sort of run, like this was sort of the last time I’d do this, so I might as well enjoy it. On the last track of the album, Tyler tells his audience to leap and go for it, with no anxiety or fear. It’s a track I find myself going back to time after time, as it quite literally is something I can dance to in the middle of a thunderstorm.

It was also one of the last times I’d run with Brad, who just passed away a few weeks back.

Better Not by Louis the Child

There are a few daily non-negotiables I have during the week. Actually I really only have two.

1. Make my bed
2. Listen to Jay Shetty on the daily calm during a walk

All hell could break loose, but as long as I have those two, I’m in good shape.

Today’s daily Jay talked about stumbling vs. falling. He goes on to tell a story of a guy who’s on his way to work. He spills coffee on his shirt, so then he says to himself “oh well – might as well keep it going” and proceeds to spill the whole coffee cup over him. He sees a crack in his window, says “oh well – might as well keep it going” and takes a baseball bat to his windshield.

Crazy right?

Not totally out of reach, though, at least for me. There are so many times where one slip up leads to a prolonged stumble, even a fall. This blog has been a big one for me, no doubt.

So, in the spirits of redemption, the stumble stops here, and by God I’m going to get to 40 days one way or another.

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Being 26 comes some tough questions: Am I in the right career? What do I want my life to look like in 5 years? Am I maxing out my 401k?

And then of course – the biggest of them all: When is the right age to delete snapchat?

Honestly, the biggest thing holding me back is the memories. It occurred to me that I went on one of my most favorite trips I’ve been on to date.

I was in West Bath, Maine, 5 years ago today.

I hold this trip near and dear to my heart. It was during COVID at a time where there wasn’t a ton to look forward to. Cabin fever was at an all time high being back home. I needed a north star to look forward to.

That north star came when one of my friends proposed a friend group trip to her house out in Maine. The guys would all drive up from Michigan, make a pit stop out in Vermont, then spend a week out in Maine.

20 hour drive. 2 days in Vermont, 5 in Maine, one back in Michigan. It ended up being the most transformative trip I’ve taken, and some of the best memories I’ve had to date. We spent countless nights yapping around fires, waiving down lobster boats, giving our little guys their best moments before we ate them, (RIPIP), taking in everything east coast hospitality had to offer.

The trip was extremely important to me for many reasons. I was seeing old friends for the first time in a long time. It more so brought me peace for a lot of questions I had at a time of so much uncertainty in my life. I think there’s something to be said for moments you reflect on where there wasn’t anything to be said. Sometimes, the moment in itself gives you all that you need. It might not be the answer you want, but you felt it, and if anything, you have that feeling for the rest of your days. That, in itself, is special.

Anyways, I took the last leg of the drive heading from Vermont to Maine. It was almost like driving down rainbow road in Mario Kart out there; every twist & turn got more narrow, the music got louder and faster as we raced for the finish line. This was the last song that was played before we were greeted on the other side. It will always remind me of a summer and trip I’ll never forget.

With Them by Young Thug

This song is so inspirational that one of my friends literally wrote a his senior paper about it in high school.

Speaking of which, it was his birthday the other day, so shouts goes out to him on this one.

Remember that space cadet I was telling you about? I’ve got another one that lives on the moon, but he’s without a doubt one of my best friends.

He’s a thug disciple. Like I had mentioned earlier, I didn’t quite get the hype until recently. His glow up was peak 2015-2016, arguably 2019 when So Much Fun came out, but I swear people would talk about YSL (specifically Thug & Gunna) like they were the chosen ones. I had friends knowing every word from every song, leak, you name it.

One of the coolest parts, I think, of music is the fan base. There will always be a crew that follows an artist to the ends of the earth. I’d argue it says way more about them than it does the artist. It’s a perfect way to describe my boy.

A very loyal and true friend. Whether you need a ride or help moving (who tf willingly helps people move nowadays) he’s always down to lend a hand and I appreciate that most about him. Not to mention one of the easiest going dudes you’ll meet. Just an all around great guy to be around.

Last summer, there was a particular day where I was just in a mood. I had been goin through it and didn’t really want to be in the crowd, meanwhile all my friends had gone golfing and were out and about clowning around. There were some UFC fights that night. They were all causing a ruckus outside my room while I was trying to get some sleep.

About midway through the night, my friend comes in my room and goes “dude, can you just vibe with us” and after some thought I muscled my way out of bed to be with the lads. My boy put this song on and we danced like absolute idiots the rest of the night.

There were two things I was reminded of that night. One – you get way more out of the act of doing rather than just moping around waiting for things to change. Two, I’m thankful I have someone like my guy around who can change up a mood in a matter of seconds. Preech.

Big Green Tractor (Live) by Jason Aldean

Hand up – I’ve been slacking. I have a ways to go and haven’t kept up with these.

Also, low key, if my math is correct, 40 days and 40 nights, but there’s 47 this year? Jesus, what’s good my guy?

Either way, goal here is to finish out to 40 with one a day starting tonight. I got you guys.

Apart of why I had taken a leave of absence from writing these blogs was because of one of my absolute BOYS weddings this weekend. Yes I’m getting old.

One of the best parts about being 26 is one of your best friends could be getting married, your other friend could be finding himself in the Himalayas, and you don’t even know what you’re having for dinner tonight. Gotta love your mid 20’s.

Anyways, this is a tribute to one of my oldest friends and newly wedded. Cheers bruv.

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Junior year high school summer. Another summer filled with too many sports but just enough weekends to decompress. It’s that pivotal summer where you start becoming teammates with the seniors in sports if you’re on varsity. Each hangout session felt like a job interview. Constantly under the radar of the higher ups trying to slam as many busch lights or gwp’s as you can to make it to the next round. We all passed with flying colors.

However, there was a week where it was solely dedicated to the bronski boys that sticks out.

My dad travelled a lot for work, sometimes weeks at a time. My step mom worked as a nurse, meaning she was gone majority of nights.

A high schoolers dream.

I had the guys over and we spent all day and night playing beer pong in my back yard. We’d often end it with a nightcap having a bonfire then going our separate ways. I was going through a weird transition at the time being newly single. I think at that time I wanted the party to go on as long as possible so the night silence didn’t get too sharp.

As the night crowd started to dwindle, my guy was the last one standing. We headed down the street to our local 7/11 to get some taquitos and slurpees. It quickly turned into one of the weirdest altercations I’ve had with a cashier in my life.

We got some taquitos and rotisserie dogs then started some back and fourth with the cashier.

“oooo you guys like those taquitos huh.”

“ya”

“you know what I can do for you guys is pop those bad boys in the microwave for ya. get those real nice.”

“ya that sounds good dude”

“yeah all they usually take is about 30 seconds. I’ll get those nice and warm for you guys.”

“…”

put the fries in the bag, dude.

It’s a story we still joke about to this day.

Anyways, we got back to my place and watched the fire burn out with our dogs and beers in hand. I had this song playing in the background.

This dude is just so special, man. Anyone who meets him would tell you the same. One of the just best glue guys you’ll ever meet with a humor unmatched. I doubt I will meet few people in this life that are funnier.

More importantly, I think this dude is just the epitome of resilience. Time after time this guys been dealt a bad hand (whether it was him dealing or not), and time after time he’s come out on top. He’s a true inspiration, an even better friend, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.

Cheers, brother. Love always.

Put On by Young Jeezy ft. Kanye West

What’s the disease called where you have to do certain things a certain way and in your head if you don’t your whole family dies? I think it’s OCD.

Anyways.

Back in high school, I started this pregame routine before every game. I had to listen to the same four songs all at certain times during my warmup.

One was Country Shit by Big Crit ft. Ludacris. I’d play it as soon as the car parked and I was on the way to the stadium. Right after was this banger up above. I’d play it right as I walked in the tunnel.

I could listen to whatever for a while, but as soon as I started to head to the locker room I’d play Kush Coma by Danny Brown ft. A$AP Rocky. Lastly I’d play Attak by Rustie ft. Danny Brown as I was putting on my pads.

I had to pause the last song at 3 seconds. If all of this didn’t happen, I’d spiral.

Same routine for 8 years straight.

It’s hard to mimic that routine in my current life. I don’t hype myself up for a call, but I have enough intermural sports in my life nowadays that let me relive some of my athletic days. It wasn’t so much the game. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being in the moment, but there was so much more that went into it. The pregame routines, the locker room banter, everything.

Those little things add up enough to where you can reminisce on all of it when it’s all said and done.

My boy and I had a HUGE game against another undefeated team tonight in pickleball. I had to dial it back and go back to my roots.

I had this song playing as if I was getting ready for Game 7 of the world series, slapping the whiffle ball against the wall like my life depended on it. It was fun to get back in that zone. I don’t get to do it often anymore.

We swept, 3-0.

Drip or Drown by Gunna

I’ve been sitting on this one for a while. One of my best friends texted me this morning and said it was a young gunna wunna type of day. I think it’s only right I pull this one off the shelf.

Sophomore year of college I lived with 6 dudes in an apartment. One bathroom.

One of my best friends was a Gunna fan. I hadn’t really gotten the hype but I knew it was around. I had a handful of friends that were stuck in slime szn but I had managed to refrain, although I didn’t know why.

My best friend got me on the wave when we found out Drip or Drown 2 came out. I saw he had a song named Derek Fisher and I was sold.

Some of my best friends and I took a class in college that was a breeze. There were a few hunnies in there too that made it all that much worthwhile. I ended up having a huge crush on one of them by the end of the semester.

Something I’ve always admired about one of my boys is he has always gone to the beat of his own drum. He knows his limits and boundaries but is a blast to be around. I can go him about anything – he always has that calm demeanor like a James Bond character. Just all around a cool dude. That said, sometimes he’s just in his own world, almost like a space cadet.

Literally. He said he saw aliens once.

Class had started and my guy was nowhere to be found. About five minutes in, he strolled in with the corded Iphone headphones. One in, one out. You could hear Young Gunna Wunna slipping through the speakers.

The whole class stopped, but he was vibin’. He comes up to me and goes “what you know about that young gunna wunna?!” and dapped me up. A slight hiccup in the class but a day I’ll never forget with one of my absolute best friends in the world.

We’ve been gunna fans/best friends ever since. During COVID we actually got so bored we wrote lyrics to this song and sent them to each other. I really wish I still had that video.

Blessed by ScHoolboy Q

I still can’t believe this song got taken off of streaming.

Monday was filled with a bunch of doomscrolling. Yucky Monday.

During my brain rot, I stumbled on a Tweet from Jon Rothstein. I’ve deleted twitter since for the week, but it was something along the lines of “be grateful for what you have NOW.”

Something I lose sight of often.

This song, man…it’s just so important to me. It’s filled with stories and personal anecdotes Q raps about that I personally cannot relate to, but the overall message is one that resonates with me deeply. I often find myself listening to this on the way home from work. I listened to this after my sister’s tribute. It rocked me.

Kendrick has a verse that gives me chills every time I hear. I’ll edit some of the words for the sake of keeping this clean:

“Yes, my person, you’re blessed
Take advantage, do your best, my person
Don’t stress, you was granted everything inside this planet
Anything you imagine, you possess, my person
You reject these people, that neglect, your respect
For the progress of a baby step, my person
Step, step my person
One, two, skip, skip
Back, back, look both ways
Pull it off the hip”

First, we are absolutely blessed that we have Q and Kendrick on a track together. Second, I’ve felt that my life has been, at times, in a constant state of stopping and stuttering. Kendricks reminder of a baby step is sometimes all you need to get through the day. Storms eventually pass. Sometimes you just need to move where the clouds don’t hover over if/when you can.

It all starts with a baby step and a reminder that the world is at your fingertips if you want it.

Backseat Freestyle by Kendrick Lamar

Sunday scaries hit exponentially different. That said, I’d like to reminisce on a happier time.

Everyone had their liner spot in high school when you couldn’t drive. You were still in that weird part in life where you can’t drive and kind of too old to bike but you still did it. It was like wearing hand me down clothes that didn’t quite fit you.

Ours was the McDonald’s. That night was extraordinary, though, as we were planning our first big high school shindig for New Years.

We waited around anxiously to make plans. One of our buddies had a light bulb moment to hit up one of our friends who had a chill mom that we could for sure sneak some alcohol into.

“hey man can we have a party at your place tonight?”

“uhhh…let me ask my mom. Hey mom can I have people over tonight?”

*faintly in the background* “Absolutely not.”

“Yeah, sure, you guys can come.”

Game on.

We went over and immediately started sending out invites. Our host had a few older siblings who had some alcohol lingering around. Nothing quite like a testosterone filled basement reeking of piss and vinegar that had no idea how to drink, let alone what to do when the girls came over.

One of our buddies had the grand idea to play beer pong on the ping pong table. I partnered up with another lefty and proceeded to play my first ever game of pong. We lost in a shootout. Actually, I don’t even think it was close.

We had this song playing in the background.

The night ended exactly has you might have predicted. The host ended up getting blasted and tried his best to cover it up. He went upstairs when his mom asked “what are you doing?”

“I gotta let my dogs out.” and proceeded to faceplant on the newly fallen snow.

Angel/Better Together (Live) by Jack Johnson

Looking back on it…sophomore year high school summer was an absolute shit show.

I was doing summer baseball, football, and basketball. On top of that I would do baseball tournaments on the weekends in Kenosha. Nothing quite like back to back games with the biggest excitement being passing Mars Cheese Castle on the way to and from.

In hindsight, that summer aged like fine wine. Lots of great memories, but none greater than the Jack Johnson concert with my older brother.

I was racing back from Kenosha to meet him over at Northerly Island (great venue, by the way). My dad dropped me off in travis the Traverse and I finally made it.

I looked up to my brother in more ways than none. One one hand I would quite literally look up to him being 6’4. On the other he always had a great sense of fashion, music, you name it. He’s an adrenaline junkie always looking for the next adventure. He got us tickets and I didn’t look back despite playing in a billion games that day. At the prime age of 15 you just run off hormones. You don’t even need coffee.

I found him with a group and we got a spot at the back right GA stage. He offered me a beer, I refused. I got handed a joint and sent it right back. Looking back there’s something edgy having just the jam and music be your drug of choice for the night. Almost like a nervous energy, but I loved every second of it. We found a random group getting on shoulders and we joined in on the fun.

I didn’t know many of the songs. At many points they would just jam and I didn’t quite know how to dance to the rhythm. I would sway back and fourth feeling like I stuck out like a sore thumb.

Jack saved his best for last, though. One part I love about concerts is when you feel like the songs queued up are just for you. Like there’s a direct tunnel between you and the artist. I heard the chords to Angel and locked in.

I remember listening to the song and reminiscing on all of freshman year of high school. So many great memories it had to offer. I had my first taste of the next chapter in the story, got my first girlfriend, had my first major break up. At 15 that’s the equivalent of a wasp sting that seems like it swells up your whole body but realize it’s just a little scar when you look back on it.

He seamlessly transitioned into his most famous song, Better Together. The whole crowd erupted, singing word for word with my brother and I playing the part.

We took the L home and I could barely keep my eyes open. I had another game back in Kenosha the next day. I remember being in the back of a Chrysler minivan just trying to keep my eyes open.

First words I heard out of the car was “Fay, you’re on the bump.” If you knew anything about me in baseball, you knew I was like a box of chocolates on the mound. You really didn’t know what you were going to get, it was either a solid performance or just an absolute shit show.

That whole time I was on the mound that morning, I had those two songs playing in my head. I pitched the best I had ever pitched that day. I owe it all to my big brother.

Let Me Hold You by Cheat Codes & Dante Klien

Happy Friday, family. 70 and sunny in Chicago today. I mean, stop it.

Something I’ve started to really enjoy being in my mid 20’s is the rave. My friends and I are all going to a concert tonight at the shed which I’m pretty pumped about.

I never thought it was something I’d get into. I was never the first to put EDM in my playlists. However one of my good friends got pretty into it during college. He insisted on being aux at nearly every function. Still does.

I think what I like about it the most is how the EDM vibe brings people together. I have two close close friends that I would never in a million years think a loud bass and some strobe lights would bring us even closer, but here we are.

We went to go visit one of my buddies over in Denver a few years back. He’s an avid raver, it’s never been my thing. However, the energy, the crowd, the whole experience was just electric. Not to mention the fits we had on that night were just absurd.

The power of music, edm in particular, has brought me with some great crowds and some great people. It’s now one of my favorite things to do and I always look forward to the new crowd that comes around.

Anyways, this was one of the first EDM songs I actually put in my playlist. I had first heard it visiting my brother my senior year of high school. It’s been in the rotation ever since.

Have yourselves a friday. Go find a big speaker and blare some edm with your crew.