Category: Uncategorized

Difference Maker by Needtobreathe.

Kairos. Senior Year. 2016.

I used to go on these religious retreats back in high school called Kairos. Students would gather twice a year to share witnesses of God all while spending three nights in Cabrini retreat center. A truly wholesome moment among the absolute chaos that is senior year of high school. A moment to not worry about what college you were going to attend or what costume you were wearing for turnabout to just be totally present.

I was a retreatant my junior year and then became a leader on the upcoming retreat in December (shoutout 47). They did a little ritual where they would kidnap the upcoming leaders in the back of a car with a blindfold followed by a celebratory dinner. A group of many different personalities with many different backgrounds all piled in the trunk of a suburban and went to ridgeview grill that night.

That memory sticks with me to this day. The relationships I made with my team stick with me for a lifetime.

The whole fall we spent getting together on Sundays preparing for the winter retreat. When I look back on this point in time, everything just clicked. I was in the midst of senior year football season all while preparing for this unique retreat experience shortly after.

The leaders gave these presentations called “witnesses”. They were essentially these talks we would present in front of the group where we witnessed God at some point in our lives. We would play songs in between to break up the speech.

One of my co-leaders picked this as her song. We weren’t particularly close – she was my high school ex’s close friend. I’ll also be the first to turn off gospel when it’s on the FM radio.

We ended up having a great conversation during the retreat out of the blue. I remember it vividly. I think that’s what drew me to the retreat – the power of presence and limitation can go a long way (limitation meaning not having our phones like we always do in life) in tandem with a draw to God’s word.

This song reminds me of a beautiful conversation during a simple time.

New Faces V2 by Mac Miller

“I was not on planet earth when I made faces. Nowhere close.” – Mac Miller (2014).

My best friend who’s the music nerd showed me this mixtape in a Subway in high school. One of the best summers of my life – nothing but riding bikes, jailbreaking phones (cause that was the cool thing to do back in the day), and sports on sports. A perfect summer encapsulated by a perfect mixtape.

It’s chilling knowing some of the best times of my life up to date were written while Mac was at his most desperate.

Actually looking back on it this was a mixtape era riddled with drug fused genius. Mac with Faces, Chance with Acid Rap, Vic Mensa with Innanetape. Each rapper had a story, and each drug served a purpose.

This song in particular is special because it had Earl. A young Earl, too. One that was hungry, like they all wanted to outdo the other. The whole song sounds like one big buildup, only for Mac to steal the show by the end.

I hadn’t given a whole listen of the mixtape since I heard it was getting released on Apple Music back in October of ’21 during my last semester of college. My sister was getting married that weekend so I was going to drive home from Ohio on Thursday.

I had gone out the night before driving 6 hours (smart man) and woke up in an absolute blender. I ran over to the gas station, bought a tin, coffee, yellow Gatorade, popped on Faces and made the trek home. I was catching up with a girl that night I had gone to college with and was couch surfing my roommates new apartment who had moved into the city alongside some friends home for another birthday.

I don’t know why I remember this so well. I think it’s because the core memory of this mixtape being played on my hungover ride home is intertwined with the memory of my sister embarking on a new path in life. One that necessarily didn’t involve me. On the same side of the coin, I was visiting my best friends who were once my roommates months prior. I had taken a fifth year to play one last semester of football while they decided to graduate.

The memory of this album being played while I went to visit friends and family starting new paths back home always sticks with me. I was on one path, some of the closest people I have to me were on another. Mac was there to bridge the gap between us as I drove home severely hungover that day. Almost like it was all going to workout somehow. I’ll always be thankful for that.

One More Drink by Ludacris ft. T-Pain

If there was a gun to my head and I had to rap one song.

Word for word. Bar for bar.

It would be this song. Without question.

Man…the memories of peak 3rd-4th grade. This is one of those songs that you idolize as a kid, singing every word without a care in the world only to realize the fourth grade you was absolutely wildin’ back in the day memorizing a song like this.

I’d also argue this was peak music video era. The video starts off with Kat Williams hosting a DDA meeting (Drinking Dates Annonymous) welcoming Ludacris to the group. From there Luda illustrates a beautiful disaster of his drunken fiascos anywhere from hooking up with a girl with a “mean overbite” to gnawing off his arm after a sloppy sesh. I’ll leave the link to it here.

We really need to bring music videos all the way back.

Anyways, I would go over to my best friends house and we’d spend majority of the morning watching Luda sip from a ginormous cup while T-Pain played devil’s advocate on his shoulder. Right up until we had to pile in his Nissan before little league baseball.

I like to put these songs in the “ignorant bliss era”. Are there any from yours you look back on and can’t believe you used to spit bar for bar back in the day? I’d love to hear.

March Madness NCAA Theme Song (CBS College Sports March Madness Theme Song)

I mean….cmonnnn do I even need to say anything else?!

Happy March Madness day, everyone. One of the best sporting events of the year, riddled with Cinderella and powerhouses going blow for blow while attending the big dance.

Before we even know it we’ll see the next Robert Mason, Jack Gohlke, Gordon Heyward, Norfolk State. We’ll cling onto it for dear life while we watch in amazement. Everyone loves a good underdog story.

This song and time of year screams nostalgia ultra (shoutout Frank).

Being in middle school in the computer lab doing my best impersonation of James Bond trying to override the WiFi code so we could watch ball instead of working on inquiry. One of my friends actually watched one of our teachers enter in the password. I still remember it to this day.

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Luckily the march madness website came out when I was in 7th grade and we didn’t have to worry about that. As long as you had a TV provider and a lookout for the teacher coming your way, we’d watch ball all day without a care in the world.

Those middle school relationships were special. I’ll have to write a tribute to the boys soon.

Flash forward to freshman year of college, March Madness always landed on the beginning of spring break. The coaches would have us complete a brutal workout the Friday morning before spring break every year, almost as if it was a get out of jail free card.

We called it “the trail of tears”.

To put in perspective, our strongest player ended up in the fetal position by the end. If you have ever met me, you know I am certainly not the biggest or strongest. You can only imagine what kind of condition I was in.

I was supposed to go home right after. Instead, me and my PC all went to tequillaville and watched the games all day.

Enjoy the day, family. Get those games on the other monitor and soak in the madness.

Willie Burke Sherwood by Killer Mike

I’ve been in a rut. This weather hasn’t helped either.

Sometimes I catch myself going through the motions. Others I find myself thriving. I guess sometimes it’s hard to find that consistency.

Luckily, I’m fortunate enough to have friends who tell me what I need to hear.

I was playing pickleball with one of my best friends. We’ve been 10-0 since we joined the league. He’s the better of the bunch, that said we really haven’t faced anyone worth a try.

But sometimes that’s the most dangerous place to be in life – the tallest midget. Thinking you’re good enough until someone punches you in the mouth. Everyone’s due for a wake up call.

We played a few exhibition games before heading home. Next thing we knew we were down 10-2.

My friend said “I’m going to say this as nice as possible…stop hitting the ball like a F****** P****.”

Boom – just like that I was up. A little rattled, sure, but I snapped out of it. I played this song on the way home.

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I’ve been a killer mike fan for a while. To me this is one of his deepest cuts. Rapping to his intelligent yet insecure young self about the rap path he will choose and what he will overcome. It’s a strong exercise to write a letter to your younger or future self. Like you’re writing in the mirror.

Sometimes you just gotta be the main character, play some killer mike and get back in a groove.

Bad Habit by Steve Lacy

My older brother hates admitting he’s wrong. I think he just has a hard time giving credit where credit is due.

There are a lot of things I look up to my older brother for, practically everything really. He’s really good at a lot of things. Very smart as well.

We cross paths on our taste in music from time to time, however it’s rare. He likes Dave Matthews, I like Mac Miller, we both like Jack Johnson which is a story for another time.

There’s a science to having the power of the aux cord. You need to have an eye and an ear alert at all times. One eye is on the road while the other is looking around catching the vibe from the passengers. When you get the “what song is this?” you know you’ve made it big.

I had that power when Steve dropped his most famous song, however this was before the TikTokers got their hands on it. I played it for my brother and I could tell this was the one he would finally add to his playlist.

A few weeks later, we all went to Starved Rock State Park which a trail about an hour out of the city. I took my old pup brad, he took his dog coco.

We had a beautiful sunset on the ride home. Joey had aux (rightfully so – his car) and had some oldies on. Out of nowhere, out came Steve Lacy.

Neither of us said a word. The music said everything that needed to be said on that ride home.

Pre by Earl Sweatshirt

Ahhhh…good old freshman year of high school lore.

This album is so important, man. At least to me. “Doris” came out my freshman year of high school. I’m fortunate enough that one of my absolute best friends is a wizard when it comes to music. He just loves it and loves all aspects of it. He’s blessed me with some great music and we’ve had great conversations that come with it.

He made me feel bad that I thought about downloading the album illegally because it wouldn’t give earl his well earned coin. I waited patiently for it to drop. I remember going up to my attic in my house and seeing that it had finally come.

It’s special because I have so many vivid memories associated with it.

I chose this song specifically because my friend was upset that Earl didn’t actually open on his own album. I actually can’t believe I remember that conversation, but it’s one that I cherish to this day.

I remember playing this while playing Pac Man World 2 (great game btw) with my brothers in my room. The new IOS update had just come out when the blue texts were invented. What a time.

I actually had sent my HS girlfriend one of the songs on this album (Chum) as an attempt to look trendy as if I didn’t listen to whatever everyone else was listening too. She actually ended up really liking it. Pro tip – if you ever send your girl an earl song and she likes it, you gotta keep her.

This, through and through, is a fantastic album IMO. I love looking back on this moment in time. It reminds me how lucky I am to have a friend like I do, and all the memories I carry alongside with it.

Pool House by Willis

I would imagine there was a big audience (in this case a small audience…I don’t actually know how many people read this) that partook in the Chicago festivities this weekend.

If you’re anything like me, you’re in dyer need of a pick me up song. Or a yellow gatorade.

I discovered WILLIS a few summers back. They have a great vibe – also a great sort of jam sesh/interview on youtube you should check out.

I usually put on WILLIS during my Monday afternoon walks, but today they were much needed. I like the overall reminiscent theme of this song. Murphy Billings looking back on fun times in a pool house while coming to the grips of the fact that live continues, and we must too.

Action follows inspiration. It was a brutal Sunday weather wise after an immaculate Saturday. I went back to the suburbs to be around good company. It was another window of time where all of my siblings were together. Were on much different paths now – my oldest had a kid, older brother having a kid, older(ish) in wisconsin, and my younger brother in college. As you could imagine, those windows become more narrow to get through.

We enjoyed way too much corned beef and shared some laughs. I turned on a few hours of House to close out the night.

The sun eventually came out after snow. Just comes to show that this too shall pass, so we might as well enjoy it.

Find Your Love by Drake

I was going to write a Saint Patrick’s themed blog in honor of the festivities here in Chicago.

However, I was watching the B1G tournament last night and I got a Facebook facetime call from my mom (she’s an android user, I know).

She never does this – only calls. When I answered she said “oh, you don’t want to see me?” and then I realized I had to open the Facebook app on my phone to activate my camera.

When she was able to see my face, her expression was as if she was the first caveman to see fire. She was so happy to see me, let alone have a conversation.

And so, today, I’m going to shout out my mom real quick.

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My mom used to drive a Honda Odyssey to haul her five kids. Lots and lots of memories in that van. Actually, one of my first times actually driving a car happened to be that van. I had just got my permit and I asked my mom if we could get lunch. She let me drive all the way to Chipotle and back. My freshman year self made an odyssey feel like a Maybach.

I remember this because my ex girlfriend was having a big party that same night. We had just broken up, I was rattled there was a party I would attend that night. However, in that blip in time I was able to enjoy a nice ride with my mom.

I was in middle school when Drake had dropped Thank Me Later. It’s an album he doesn’t praise much despite its hits. That 2009 Drake was special. I’d argue way more versatile then. There’s always something to admire about a hungry artist who hasn’t made it big quite yet and they find their big brake. For Drake, in my opinion, it was this album.

My mom was riding her Odyssey, I was sitting in the front seat. For whatever reason, she asked for this song to be louder so she could dance along to it. She never dances, I never dance with her. We drove down Willow Road and got to share a moment together with some God awful dance moves without a care in the world.

My mom is one of the kindest souls you’ll meet. She always knows when something is wrong no matter how hard you hide it. She apologizes way too much. She calls all the time. I always answer.

Have a fantastic patty’s day!

Grown Up by Danny Brown

I mean, are you kidding? 70 degrees in Chicago on a Friday, college basketball on all day, St. Patrick’s day celebrations tomorrow. Stop it.

I don’t have much to write today other than a song I think fits today’s vibe perfectly.

We used to go bowling back in college during football camp. I had a teammate that drove a truck we all used to pile in back in the day. I would blare this song in the car on the way over.

As Mr. Brown said, we were rushing out of kids just to be grown up. Now that I’m somewhat grown (?) I look back on this song with a ton of great memories.

Since this song reminds me of college, on a day like this you’d be silly to even think about going to class in the afternoon. Grab some boys and go hit the links, go find a patio, go on a walk, do something. Enjoy some good music while you do it.